Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Time for God...

As promised to myself, and proclaimed before you all and God, I spent time with the Lord today, again reading in my Grace for the Moment Bible (by Max Lucado). Yesterday the topic was on the money. I couldn't wait to see what the topic for today was.

Are you ready??? Again it was right on target. The topic is "A Cleared Calendar"!!!

Bible reference Psalm 42:2 "I thirst for the living God. When can I go to meet with Him?"

The next sentence was what got me. It was a question..."How long has it been since you let God have you? I mean truly HAVE you? How long since you gave Him a portion of undiluted, uninterrupted time listening for His voice?" Then the author reminds us that Jesus did just that. He arose early in the morning and went to a (now get this) LONELY place, where he prayed...(Mark 1:35)

Most of you know that God has been speaking to me about surrendering my whole life to Him. I am sure that being unemployed is part of His plan for this journey. I am convinced that He has cleared my calendar on purpose so that I will have time to meet with Him, and listen for His voice. How long has it been since I've done that? Too long. It's interesting the choice of the word lonely because that's how I feel so much of the time. And yesterday I took a walk after my time with Him (I almost said quiet time but all of my time lately is quiet time) and on my walk I was contemplating on the difference between being alone and being lonely. There's a big difference. Dictionary.com defines loneliness as this, "affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome. 2. destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, a lonely exile. lone; solitary; without company; companionless." And this morning as I was reading the verse, it dawned on me that I am in a lonely place for a reason...however I am not alone. And there's a reason I am here.

Remember that I had said that I was hoping that through this journey I would find out what my true purpose was? For years I've been told by many people that I would make a great counselor (or teacher) and that I should be writing for a living. I've just never known how to get started. It hit me today that the place I am in right now is a place of preparation, of cultivating my relationship with my Creator and readying myself for what he is bringing my way. I have wanted to be able to have it all, a career, a family, etc. You know, the way the world defines having it all. But what I really need is to have all of Jesus, and He needs to have all of me. I've known for a while that I was not giving my relationship with God my all, that I operate at times by "winging it". The problem is that I am not honoring Him that way, and I am not being a benifit to others. And I am missing out. I don't want to miss out anymore.

So even though I feel like I am in isolation, I know that I am not alone. I know that God is continuing His good work in me and will be faithful to complete it. I need to be faithful to give Him all of me. I want to take this time that He has granted me and use it wisely, to grow and to truly know God.

Day #2 of my Grateful Journey and I have 2 things I am grateful for 1) Michelle and the rest of the Trinidad Team made it to Trinidad safely and are having a great time of fellowship with the people there. 2) Cool weather in April :)

Until next time...

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