Thursday, March 12, 2009

Here I am Lord, send me

A little over 4 weeks ago Michelle came to me after church and declared that she felt that God wanted her to go to Trinidad with the youth missions team. I shared in an earlier blog my first reaction and how it had been based in fear and human knowledge. I have constantly put limits on God over the course of my life as a believer, even though He has consistently proven His love and faithfulness to us.

Today I need to share with you how He has demonstrated (yet again) how He supplies our needs, and also prepares those whom He calls.

The trip to Trinidad cost is $1200.00, plus the passport cost, and the luggage (they are all going to get the same bag so that they can minimize issues at baggage). My first thought regarding the money was that we didn't have $1200.00 to give. I totally didn't even give a conscious thought to the fact that GOD had $1200.00. I somehow always forget that verse in Philippians 4:19 that says "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus".

I do know though, that we need to actively walk out our faith, so as we prayed about supply, Michelle started making beanies to sell, sent out support letters and spoke to friends and family about what God had laid on her heart. The only thing that John and I paid for was the passport and $30 in rolled coin. In the first 2 weeks she had raised $230 from beanie sales!

One of the gals in my bible study class wanted to give a donation. She believed God had put on her heart a specific amount however she needed confirmation, so she asked me how much Michelle's next payment was and when it was due. When I told her that the next payment was $300 she smiled and said "I thought so, that's the amount God put on my heart to give." Another friend told me that she wanted to give some money. She can't go on a missions trip so this was her way of living vicariously through these youth to spread the love of Christ. She said that it wouldn't be much however since she hadn't worked in quite some time. In my opinion, when you give out of obedience to your love for God, any amount is a huge amount. I was so humbled by this and was seeing God's handiwork in it all.

Last Sunday I spoke with the leader who is keeping the books for the trip. I asked her how much Michelle had collected and wanted to know how much more we needed to raise. You're going to love this...she said that Michelle had surpassed the goal at $1202.00!!!! She said that she receives 2-3 checks a day for Michelle and that she gets more donations for Michelle than any other student!!!

Again, God was showing his desire for Michelle to go to Trinidad in the details of this.

This post was going to be about Michelle's trip but I am so in awe and wonder at the amazing ways He works out His plans for us. This is really helping me to see more and more that He prepares those whom He calls. I have spent so much of my life in a confused state wondering what His plans for my life were (are), and letting others define what my life should look like, or what my gifts are, or where I should be using them. I've let others tell me what success is. The problem is that success is not defined by the world, and it doesn't look the same on all people. It's not a one size fits all thing. I have been crippled by fear, immobilized by indecision and paralyzed by details. These last 4 weeks have been a tremendous faith building experience for all of us.

Being out of work has been scary, yet I know that this was in God's plan for me. And even though I am applying for jobs, I am also leaving my life open to God's handiwork. I'm not sure I want to return to the corporate world. I know I am not going to a foreign country on a missions trip like Michelle (yet), however I want my life to be available and have room for God's plans.

I am in a place of preparation and He has put dreams in my heart. I just need to trust that He will work them out. I have begun to write (again) and quite frankly would like to see it go somewhere. I have gone back to the earth as a gardener and I guess my enthusiasm has been contagious because several friends have been inspired to do the same thing. I have been able to do things in my kitchen that I didn't have time for before, like making preserves and trying out gluten free recipes and making soups from scratch, and when the cashiers at ACE and Publix see me with all of the canning stuff they remark that they always wanted to make preserves. I was one of them.

I have been able to visit with neighbors who are elderly and or widowed. They are alone and lonely. I am available.

I want my life to glorify Him. I want the world to see in my life the faithfulness of The Father.

Just as Michelle has said "Here I am Lord, send me", I, too, am saying "Here I am Lord, send me". Though I won't be travelling as far as Michelle, the blessings of a surrendered life are tremendous and I am looking forward to the rewards.

Pray for us, will you? We will be praying for you.

Until next time...

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